


The Study of Breath

by Murf1307



Series: French Vanilla and Haunted Houses [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-25
Updated: 2012-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-22 12:29:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/609839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Murf1307/pseuds/Murf1307
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ed deals with the aftermath of of Corbett's death by trying to love again, and embarking on a slow, life-long suffocation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Study of Breath

**Author's Note:**

> Written for prompt #10 -- Breathe Again.

If Ed’s honest with himself — and these days, he tries to be — living’s kind of a funny, capricious thing.

Somebody loves you, and you don’t even know til they’re gone and all you can do is realize you’re fucked and pay lip service to the dead.  Somebody loves you, and all you’ve got left is a framed photograph and a vicious hatred for leap days because you’re living and he isn’t.

You learn to love somebody in that distant, reserved way, even though you cling to her body and try to smother yourself under her touch, because she is afraid she’s unlovable and you’re afraid of getting hurt again.

Ed does a lot of pretending to be alive for a long time after February 29th, 2008, because if people knew how far from functional he really was, they’d pity him, and he won’t stand for that.

There’s nothing anyone can do about living, after all.

So he just lives, and slowly asphyxiates on the feeling of living and lying and lying side-by-side with strangers, waiting for it all to end.

When it does, and he opens his eyes in Heaven, he sees him, and all of a sudden, he can breathe again.


End file.
